I used to think that being best friends forever with my high school best friend was a thing that was stable in my life. I thought we would be best friends all through college and stand by each other’s side on our wedding day as each other’s maid of honor. That dream faded into something that no longer exists.
My best friend and I had been friends since 4th grade, all through middle school and highs school. Our friendship lasted through my first year of college and then as I rolled into my sophomore year of college she ghosted me.
Our friendship tore apart and there was no stitching it back together at the fast rate it was going. I was at a university an hour away and she stayed at the community college. She spent all of her spare time with her boyfriend and I spent all of my spare time hanging out with new people and going new places.
We were adults now and the adult life hit us hard. We had real responsibilities now. The text messages got sparse; by sparse I mean one text every two or three weeks. I will admit, I was busy, and I forgot to text back. I usually would just click READ on my laptop just to get the notification to go away during class but I would completely forget for a couple of days.
Weeks went by and when I finally went to tag her in something on Facebook I realized her name no longer came up to tag her in anything. She had unfriended, unfollowed and excluded me from her entire life and social media accounts. I was more confused than anything. At first I didn’t care and sadness of her not being in my life anymore did not hit me for a while.
It finally hit me a week ago and it hit me hard. It hit me hard when one of my college friends hugged me. It wasn’t just any hug, it was a moment that we both embraced each other to comfort one another. That was the first time I shed a tear because I realized my old best friend had been replaced.
She was replaced. I had taken all of my photos I had of her and I down. Packed all of the stuff she had given me over the years. I packed 11 years of our friendship into boxes and drawers and tried to forget about it.
My best friend is merely a ghost in my life now. If I were to see her in public I honestly don’t know what I would do; maybe say hello or maybe ignore her like I didn’t even notice her. Time will only tell because this is a small town we live in.
“…consider me gone…” – Reba McEntire